Fix You
by McRaider
Summary: Pike nodded, he slowly passed the PADD to Leonard, "What I'm about to tell you is to stay classified, no one but yourself is to know the details I'm going to provide. In two days when the Enterprise leaves for their five-year exploration, you'll be making a stop first, and that stop may very well destroy the Jim Kirk we know and love if we don't take every necessary step within our
1. Chapter 1

**Fix You  
**

**McRaider  
**

**Summary: **Pike nodded, he slowly passed the PADD to Leonard, "What I'm about to tell you is to stay classified, no one but yourself is to know the details I'm going to provide. In two days when the Enterprise leaves for their five-year exploration, you'll be making a stop first, and that stop may very well destroy the Jim Kirk we know and love if we don't take every necessary step within our power to prevent it."

**Author's Note: SLIGHT REWRITE ON FIRST TWO CHAPTERS. ** I love stories about Tarsus IV, so ultimately I decided to write one. This one has a slight twist that could be potentially triggery, this will deal with non-con, starvation and PTSD. Also I have tailored the story slightly for some twists.

**Medical A/N:** All medical information in here is fairly accurate, I've had a relatively extensive medical background in both medicine and psychology, and what I did not know or remember I was able to research.  
Rated: R (any higher will be notated in each chapter)

When you try your best but don't succeed,

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you get so tired you can't sleep

And the tears come streaming down your face

Or when you loose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste.

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

**Chapter One ~**

Leonard McCoy had enjoyed the majority of his shore leave, for the week and a half it had lasted. Until two days ago when he'd received communication from Admiral Pike requesting he return a day early for a brief meeting before he returned to his place on the Enterprise. Johanna had been surprisingly okay at the thought of her father leaving early, so here he was standing in front of the door to the Admiral's office. He knocked, unable to quell his slight concern at what Pike had called him here for. Was Jim okay, had something happened to him, was he hurt, or worse dead? He wasn't sure what he'd do if something had happened, as much as McCoy loved to occasionally bitch and complain about James T. Kirk, the love and admiration he held for the younger man went deep.

The door opened, Admiral Pike, with his gray hair and kind eyes, offered McCoy a warm smile before he stepped aside. A smile put some of McCoy's worries at ease. Pike wouldn't be smiling if Jim were hurt or dead. Pike closed the door behind the younger doctor and gestured to one of the chairs across from his desk, "Take a seat, doctor."

"Leonard, please."

Pike nodded, "Very well, Christopher then while you're here."

"What can I do for you Ad-Christopher?" McCoy caught himself as he took a seat, mentally noting how comfortable the chairs were and wondering if he could get away with stealing one. 'Oh lord, Len' he thought, 'spendin' too much time with Jim.'

Pike nodded, his PADD on his desk in front of him. He made a few gestures across it, before he folded his hands and looked up at McCoy. "Leonard, how much do you know of Tarsus IV?"

Leonard didn't have to spend much time thinking; he knew its history, or at least the information available to the public. He also knew that Jim had been somehow involved, though how he had no idea and he'd certainly never pressed for further details. "I know the public accessible information, and I know Jim was there for at least some of that time."

Pike nodded, "I thought as much, the story told to the public was…at least partly a cover story. There was some truth behind it, but there was a lot that was kept secret from the public for the sake of the survivors, and ultimately for the sake of Starfleet. We fucked up, Leonard, there's no way around it. Starfleet screwed up big time."

"Why are you telling me this, if this is all so classified, then why am I allowed to hear this so suddenly?"

Pike nodded, he slowly passed the PADD to Leonard, "What I'm about to tell you is to stay classified, no one but yourself is to know the details I'm going to provide. In two days when the Enterprise leaves for their five-year exploration, you'll be making a stop first, and that stop may very well destroy the Jim Kirk we know and love if we don't take every necessary step within our power to prevent it."

McCoy began to scan the PADD and could feel the blood draining from his face, his stomach churned with horror at what he read, "Starfleet covered up a psychopaths attempt at genocide as a death of crops?"

"They didn't know, and I was barely a kid out of the academy myself, I believed what they said, until the debriefing days later. We never would've even known what was happening, if someone hadn't managed to get a signal to us, and we still haven't figured out who did it or how. I assume you remember your North American and European history?"

"Yes, I recall it from my grammar school days."

"You recall Hitler?"

"The man who massacred thousands to create the perfect race?"

Pike nodded, "We never knew. He was purposely creating a world to do just that. He was testing theories, how long could people survive without food, how desperate would they become, what would they do out of desperation."

"That's sick, but how did he get the permission."

"Tarsus was one of our Starfleet's Elite colonies, we sent the best and brightest. These were relatives or high-ranking officials families that lived there. All to test out what the greatest education system could create, almost like a Utopia."

"Anyone who read their books knows Utopia is impossible," McCoy replied, listening and still scanning the information. "You said relatives and geniuses, is that how Jim ended up there."

Pike sighed, "Yes and no. We offered Winona the choice of sending her boys there, she was never really home, however George's family brother and sister would be there, and would be happy to help the kids along. Winona was quite passionate against sending her children, felt nothing good could come from it."

"What changed?"

"Her eldest son, Sam, ran away from home, and Jim drove his father's classic Cadillac into a gorge."

McCoy recalled that story briefly; it had been one of the more frightening stories he'd ever recalled from Jim's childhood. For Len, it was also the earliest event Jim had ever mentioned that was risky, prior to thirteen; Len had a hunch that Jim was for the most part a perfect child. "So Winona sent them to Tarsus?"

Christopher nodded, "Just Jim, Sam was adamant about making his own way. He wasn't heard from again for some time. I believe Jim knows his whereabouts, but he isn't sharing with anyone, even his mother. Jim arrived on Tarsus two days after his little stunt, without as much as a goodbye from either parent."

"And Kodos hadn't shown any previous psychotic tendencies."

"Neither did Hitler, in fact before their reign both men were stand up citizens, they were excellent public speakers. Even more important…people believed in them and what they were preaching. One man can change the course of history with well-spoken words. He only ever had to do a few check-ins at the beginning; from there we trusted him to create the utopia. Instead he destroyed some of the greatest minds we would've ever had, and the ones he didn't kill are scarred for life."

"So he brainwashed all his people."

"He brainwashed everyone into believing in him, and then when they least expected it, he had released a chemical that would eventually wipe out all their resources, it started with crops, but animals became ill too. Then he waited…two months people suffered, until finally they were desperate for help, he'd claimed he'd called for help, we were never contacted. He decided to slaughter four thousand people in the same of helping the other survivors. He chose the people who could for the most part ruin him, the ones who were hanging on harder than all the others…the list would have included Jim, but Kodos had taken an interest in the boy."

"An interest…"

Pike shook his head, "It isn't my story to tell what that means, that's all Jim has ever told me, and from the look in his eyes, I didn't want to hear more." Pike took a slow breath, feeling his own heartache at what these people had survived. "Jim eventually managed to escape, he rounded up the rest of the children and headed for the hills. He helped them survive for several for months, scavenging for food when he could."

"Until someone finally called for help?" McCoy studied Pike for a long moment as the older man nodded. "So what's the stop we have to make?" He handed the PADD back to Pike.

Flipping through a few other screens, Christopher turned the PADD back around to show and older looking man, a little older than Chris himself. "76 hours ago we received communication that Kodos is to be moved to a maxium security asylum, and that at this time we are the only ones within a reasonable distance to be able to pick him up and transport him to the new location. "

"Let me get this straight, we're being asked to move the very man who probably did most of the damage to our Captain?"

"After nearly fifteen years, I think those in charge are hoping Kirk was able to move on. He will be under guard the entire time and it should be an easy trip. The Enterprise is to pick him upl."

"Have you told Kirk about this?"

Pike shook his head, "No, I have a meeting with him and Riley tomorrow, I was hoping you would be there. He's going to need you Leonard."

"I'll be there." Leonard replied, though he couldn't quite shake the feeling that none of them would come out of this unscathed by the end of it.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First off thank you for all the amazing reviews, favorites and follows. I haven't really written a chapter story for a couple years now (not since Torchwood ended anyway damn you RTD!) and so this has really helped me feel familiar with fanfiction and writing again. **

**Second, this story is going to deal with some darker themes as we continue. I'll try to post every day to every few days as long as I'm at least 3 chapters ahead in the writing. This chapter is rather PG-13. Also as the story goes it will be McKirk, if you don't like it, please don't read or at least don't flame cause...well yeah it won't change my mind. Finally, Bones is a bit OOC I've noticed as I'm writing him, I think while it's appropriate for now, it's going to change a bit as we go, so I apologize. **

**Chapter Two~**

After his conversation with Pike the evening before, McCoy hadn't slept well, worry settling in the pit of his stomach. It was early, he'd only just gotten out of the shower when he heard his door chime and opened it to reveal a nearly worry free Jim Kirk. "Mornin' Bones, wanna go get breakfast? I got a meeting with Pike in an hour."

He wasn't in the mood to eat anything, much less look at the kid for the next hour, knowing what was coming. But he'd never mastered saying no to Jim, so he nodded, grabbed his PADD and followed the young Captain out of the room. It was a short walk across their old campus where they found themselves at a small old-fashioned diner. As they ordered, Bones took a moment to consider the younger man across from him. They had been best friends for so long now, he couldn't imagine his life without Jim Kirk. At the same time, Bones was also realizing that he'd missed things over the past several years.

Things like how Jim never really ordered a lot of food, even in the mess on the Enterprise, he always ate as little as possible to appease the doctor. McCoy supposed he should be thankful there was a span of fifteen years between Tarsus and the shuttle when they'd met, where Jim probably hadn't eaten nearly as much.

Jim also never took the last of any food, he always let someone else take it. Even things like how Jim hated showers that didn't actually use water, but rather sonic waves. Jim always used his water, he was one of the few who did, and McCoy was of course one of the others. Had all of those things changed while Jim was on Tarsus?

Suddenly McCoy found himself wanting to know and understand more. To help Jim, but he also knew he couldn't force the kid into talking. Jim would claim up like Starfleet classified material, quick and quietly. He had always been like that. Jim kept things private, and what wasn't left private was typically not by Jim's choice. Hell, McCoy had only found out about Tarsus IV because Jim's got drunk one night after it brought up in class and told Bones.

"Bones, Bones!" Jim snapped his fingers in front of his best friend's face, chuckling as McCoy shook his head slightly to snap himself out of his own mind. McCoy took the face in and smiled. "You all right, you seemed pretty far away," Jim ate his sausage.

"Fine, every things fine."

Jim nodded, not completely believing his friend, "Yeah…all right. I saw you're in the meeting with Pike too, you're not trying to sneak out on me, are ya, Bones?"

McCoy gave a surprised chuckle, "And leave you alone with Goblin ears and Scotty the drunk, hell no. Need someone to make sure you're skinny ass stays in line."

Jim attempted to look hurt by McCoy's accusation but it fell flat, everyone knew the kid practically sought out danger. "No kid, nothing like that," McCoy instantly regretted his words, realizing Jim would probably pick up on the way it he'd said it.

"Wait…you know what this meeting is about before me? Isn't that illegal or something?"

"I doubt it, considering my medical opinion may be needed. Pike called me in yesterday to briefly discuss it."

"Well, don't like the sound of that, what's it all about then."

McCoy glanced around at the decently busy café, "Not here, kid."

Jim studied his friend, the man hadn't eaten anything and he looked uncomfortable with the conversation at hand, it worried Jim. Sure, McCoy was uneasy nearly all the time, but Jim could tell whatever was going to occur in this meeting was different. Deciding it might be best to change the subject for now, he smiled, "How's Jo?"

That put a smile on his CMO's face, "Ornery, she must be learnin' it from her Uncle."

"Hey now, I haven't seen that kid in nearly seven months."

"Uh huh, when's the last time you actually talked to her?" McCoy requested, quirking his eyebrow like their Chief Science Officer, Spock would.

"I don't know…week or so ago."

"See!" McCoy chuckled, "She's good, getting great grades in school. Says she wants to join Starfleet when she grows up, damn kid is gonna give me gray hairs."

"Oh come on, she's brilliant, Bones. She's smart enough to know never to leave the ship," Jim replied with a soft laugh, though he couldn't deny he'd be terrified if she ever joined Starfleet. He'd watched her grow from just an adorable toddler to a beautiful girl now, and he loved her like his own.

"You're right, you'll turn me gray before her, just look what you did to Pike."

Jim laughed, "Hey, that isn't entirely my fault!"

It wasn't much longer before the breakfast was over, all too soon for McCoy as they headed towards the Admiral's office together, a young Lt. was already sitting in there, Jim glanced at the younger man and felt his legs begin to shake slightly, thankfully he made it to a chair in time before he showed any further weakness. "Riley."

"Captain," The man said grimly.

Kirk turned back to McCoy who was standing behind him, to Jim's surprise, McCoy lay to strong hands on his shoulders, and suddenly Jim understood. Pike had warned McCoy ahead of time, whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good, Pike had reined MCCoy in early so that Jim had support. Jim desperately hoped Riley had someone too, but he knew deep down the boy didn't, never did. Jim squared his shoulders and looked over at Riley, deciding he'd make sure they supported Riley as well.

"Gentleman," Pike said as he stepped inside and his door closed. "I'm sure by now you two have figured out why we're here."

"Tarsus," Jim whispered, he wanted to his voice to sound stronger, but he couldn't. For fifteen years he'd buried what happened there, with only the occasional break.

Pike nodded and took a seat, "Lieutenant, Captain, you two are here because I felt you deserved to know before the rest of your Senior crew members knew of the mission to prepare yourselves for the mission. Doctor McCoy is here for support. Gentleman, as you know…fifteen years ago when you were removed from…that hell hole, Kodos was taken to a high security prison. Recently he's been displaying unusual symptoms, seeing things, hearing voices, it was determined he needed to be moved to an asylum to live out the remaining years of his life."

"Why haven't we been told about this before?" Jim questioned.

"Because until recently you've safely been out of reach, saving the universe. That's not the case anymore, as you know tomorrow you embark on your five-year exploration mission, and unfortunately that puts you both available when he needs to be transported. I'm sorry, we were the closest and the quickest of the ships."

Sadly, it made perfect sense, Kirk realized. They were at a higher risk because they didn't have to check in as often with Starfleet. He didn't want to risk either of their lives, but he certainly wasn't going to let Riley just disappear either. "So what's the plan?"

Pike was proud of Jim for putting on his best face, he knew this couldn't be easy for the younger man, but as Captain he was doing his best to seem unaffected. That was why Pike had called McCoy in, he was one of only two people Jim would let his guard down around. "Tomorrow the Enterprise will be warping to Planet Q, where we will pick up Kodos and two prison guards. We will then travel to the Eastern Quadrant Starfleet base where he will be locked up in the high security asylum for the mentally unstable. I must warn you, there's almost as high a penalty if he doesn't make it, as there is on his head if he were to get away."

Jim didn't want the bastard to make it, he wanted to toture and kill the asshole, but he understood the seriousness, "Are we in any danger?"

Pike shook his head, "I don't believe so, no. But all the same you are to be armed around him at all times."

Jim shook his head, "Then I don't want to be around him," he knew if he was and had a phaser he'd kill the bastard.

"I know Jim, believe me, I remember what I saw too. But son, he has to pay for his crimes based on his trial, just like you boys deserve justice. I know this isn't going to be easy, but while this man is on the Enterprise you must act as though he is another guest simply being transported"

"I'm sorry gentleman, I was given very strict instructions, we risk losing him if we act unwieldy. I'm ask, for the sake of justice, for you, your friends, and all those who died to act like you do not know him. If you need support or friends, that's why Bones will be there, and I'll be on the ship."

"Why you?" Kirk asked.

"Not as the Captain, Kirk, I assure you. I'm simply going to be acting as though you are doing me a favor. Can I have your agreement on this?"

Riley nodded, but Kirk didn't appear as sure, "What story are you telling the others."

"Kirk, the information, the true information is to be a secret, no one is supposed to know what truly happened on Tarsus. The others will be told this is a transport mission for a high class of actors, the senior staff members you see fit to tell the bare minimum to, will be told tomorrow."

Pike waited as Kirk adjusted, the young Captain ran his hands over his hand and through his normally quaffed hair. "Spock, Scotty and Uhura need to know. While I want to tell Sulu and Chekov, I think it would be best, for their own safety if they don't know."

"They can keep it quiet, Jim," Riley promised from beside him, "You should tell them. They trust you implicitly, I know you want to protect them. But remember when we all…well when we found out the truth, did it really protect us?"

Kirk sighed, then gave a consenting nod, "Very well, they can know as well. Are we finished here?"

Pike could see things were already beginning to weigh heavily on the younger man, he nodded, "I'll debrief the others tomorrow with the bare minimum details. You three won't be needed in the meeting tomorrow. I'll see you on the Enterprise at 0800."

"Yes, sir," both Kirk and Riley replied. Kirk left first, no doubt to go drown his sorrows, Riley looked back at the other two for a minute. "Admiral, I'm not sure you realize what you're asking."

"Lt. Riley, I know this is hard—"

Riley shook his head back at Pike, "Not for me sir, for Jimmy. He suffered more than all of us. In ways you and I can't even imagine. I assume you may know at least a little because of his medical report. But what Jimmy went through, to keep us alive, to get us food…I'm not sure he's going to be able to do what you're asking."

"I know," Pike replied very quietly, worry and sadness in his eyes and in his voice. "But he's a Captain now, his crew come first and he knows that better than anyone."

Once Riley left, Pike looked over at McCoy, "You should go find Jim."

"Admiral, may I ask a question?"

Pike consented, "Of course."

"Why me, why not Spock?"

The laugh that followed surprised him, McCoy knew that Spock wasn't any good at emotions, but he and Kirk had become good friends. "Leonard, in the six years I've known you two men, I've learned there isn't anything the two of you can't do. And if anyone can safe Jim from this, from what this may do to him, it's you. You don't think I see the way he looks at you, the way you look at him."

"I was hoping not, I'd like to stay on the ship."

Pike waved him off, "Relax, doctor. You won't be going anywhere, but into space with Jim Kirk. Your love may very well be the first good thing for Jim Kirk since the night I met him in that bar, even if he doesn't know it yet."

McCoy didn't believe him, but kept his thoughts to himself. Pike didn't need to know about his constant case of self-doubt. "I'm going to go check on Jim."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: First off, Go back and reread chapters 1 & 2, I've made some small changes. Several of you noticed some timeline errors that bothered me and then I had a small change of mind on how I wanted to write this story, so there have been some details changed, not several but they affect the plot, so best to go back and do a quick reread. **

**Second, thank you all for your reviews! I love this story so far and I'm glad so many of you are enjoying it as well! **

**Chapter Three ~**

McCoy finally found Jim on the bridge of the Enterprise nearly an hour later, he wasn't sitting in the Captain's chair, but rather right in front of the window, he sat on the floor, his eyes dilated and smelled of a strong alcohol.

"You didn't waste any time," Bones commented sitting down across from his best friend, he took the scotch, good stuff too, and took a shot, grimacing at the burn as it went down.

"If Pike's right, don't have much time left," his words were already slurring together slightly.

"Don't s'pose you want to share what those two know that I don't?" McCoy didn't know why he was asking; maybe it was taking advantage of his best friend. But he couldn't shake the feeling that the part of the puzzle missing was what would destroy the Captain.

"I didn't scavenge…well not all the time. When things got really desperate," Kirk laughed, or perhaps it was a sob, McCoy wasn't quite sure as Kirk bent his head between his knees. "We were starving Len, I had kids to look after, an' they were so little an' so sick. And sometimes finding food was harder than it seemed."

Bones was beginning to feel something deep within his stomachache. He really hoped this wasn't going where he thought it was. "Kodos was a pretty sick fuck," Jim giggled, "Found out long before his ex..ex…tests." If Jim hadn't looked so broken, Bones would've chuckled over that.

"He hurt you, didn't he?"

Jim smiled ruefully, "No, I was his precious boy…can't hurt me…I was too beautiful."

And that's when it hit Bones, the nauseating realization what his thirteen-year-old friend must have gone through to keep those children fed. What he gave up. "Let's get you to your quarters."

"No," Jim hadn't meant to shout, but he still ached with the memories, "Don't wanna be lone," he mumbled.

"All right, my quarters then, come on Jim," Helping his best friend up, they slowly made their way to McCoy's quarters. Once inside, Bones was about to help Jim strip, when suddenly the man tore from his grasp and ran to the bathroom. McCoy sighed and sank to the bed at the sound of his best friend's heaving.

The truth was almost as overwhelming as just knowing Jim had been there. He felt the burn at the back of his eyes, and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, he didn't have the right to cry. But it didn't mean he didn't want to, to cry for the poor child who had gone to Tarsus and left a broken young man. For the boy who'd died on that planet to leave the self destructive man Bones knew today.

"I'll be okay," Jim murmured from the bathroom.

Their eyes met and Bones stood slowly, coming over to sit down beside Jim. He wiped his friend's face with a cloth then wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulders and pulled him close. Bones was grateful that Jim didn't pull away, but rather let Bones all but cradle him. "You know I'm always here right?"

"Love you, Len."

Bones nodded, pressing his face to Jim's hair, letting a few of his tears escape. "Love you too, Jim," he murmured, not trusting his voice at a louder tone.

Jim awoke with the taste of cotton in his mouth, a pounding headache and a curse on the tip of his tongue for whatever antics Bones had talked him into this time. He groaned and tried to rollover, when he realized there was an arm draped across his midsection. A small part of him was thankful to see it was McCoy's hand and not some random chick. McCoy was still asleep, his face peaceful looking for now. As Jim awoke further, the previous days events hit him like a ton of bricks.

He scooted out of his friend's grasp and sat at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands over his face and hair. "Jim?" Leonard's voice broke through his thoughts. "You okay?"

"Did we have sex?"

Bones chuckled, "No. Relax. I put you to bed after your continuous vomiting. I can get you something for your headache if you want."

"It's fine, allergic to nearly everything anyway. I don't know if I can do this, Len."

Bones scooted over and rubbed Jim's back, "Maybe Jimmy from nearly fifteen years ago couldn't do this. But Captain James Tiberus Kirk definitely can. You've become a very strong man, one I think your younger self would be proud of." Bones sighed slightly, "Besides, don't you want to face your demons?"

"Just one demon really."

McCoy chuckled, "Still. It'll be over after this trip."

Jim surprised him, by gripping McCoy's hand and pulling it around to his chest. They sat there in the odd embrace for a few moments, it made McCoy hopeful, and Jim calm, but neither man was ready to admit it to the other quite yet.

"Alpha shift starts in another 25 minutes, we should get ready," Jim finally murmured, McCoy could tell he wasn't really ready to face the day yet, or his fellow crew members. However McCoy also knew the sooner they began this mission, the sooner they could move past this.

Admiral Pike sighed as he stepped into the private conference room, where Scotty, Spock, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu all sat attentively. He had only twenty minutes to explain the situation to them. He took a seat and studied each of them, "Thank you for all coming. After speaking with Captain Kirk yesterday, it was determined each of you at this table needs to know the mission at hand, and the truth behind it. At 0600, Captain Kirk will report that you prior to leaving for your five year mission you will be picking up a group of traveling actors who need to travel to their next show at a nearby Starfleet base."

"And ze real story?" Chekov questioned.

Pike nodded, "I assume, like all Starfleet officers, each of you is aware of the events of Tarsus IV fifteen years ago," Pike received agreeing nods around the table, each of them looking grim. "Unfortunately, the individual responsible for all those deaths, Kodos the Executioner, has been in a maximum security prison in space where he can't hurt anyone, until now. He has recently shown signs of decreasing mental capacity and they are asking us to assist in moving him to a new security vessel where he will remaining there for the remainder of his life."

"Is it safe?" Uhura questioned.

"Security will be on him constantly, to ensure a safe travel. We chose the Enterprise for this mission to ensure we could correctly identify, and move him quickly and safely Any further questions?"

"No, Admiral," he received responses from around the table.

"Good, go report for duty." He smiled as they filed out. For the first time in the past three days, the worry in the pit of his stomach and the niggling in the back of his mind eased slightly. Kirk had a good crew; he had the best crew in the fleet. Pike was damn proud of Kirk and his people his choice in people. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the chair and let his mind wander.

_The smell was the first thing that hit him, burning flesh, gas and iron-blood. He turned immediately without thinking and vomited in a nearby bush. "Hold it together, Ensign," the Captain called gently, but he must have felt for the boy, his hand patting the boy's back. We're going to try and collect the…the victims, search for Governor Kodos Think you could go find see if there's anyone else to the south, take a couple Yeomans with you." _

_ "Yes, Captain." Pike headed off in the opposite direction of the city and the stench. They fanned out the further away from the city they got, "I'm going to go check those caves, report if you find anything." _

_ Moving towards the caverns he found footprints leading into the cave, he stepped a bit closer when a figure appeared. Pike felt sick at the sight, a child, no more than thirteen or fourteen dragged himself, painfully thin and frail looking, bruises covered his face and arms, and if Pike had to guess they didn't stop where his shirt started. _

_ "Hello," Pike tried to hide the slight quiver of nervousness in his voice, "My name is Christopher Pike, I'm with Starfleet." _

_ They felt like magic words, the child who seemed otherwise stoic shook with each step. "Starfleet?" _

_ "Yes, I promise. What's your name?" _

_ The boy's words made Pike's heart sink, "James Tiberus Kirk," he said with confidence that didn't seem real. What had they done, before Pike could said anything further, the boy's legs began to give out. He raced forward and caught the boy before he hit his head. "Jesus, George, what the hell have we done to your kid." He looked back at the cave, "Is there anyone else in there?" He called. _

He'd had to carry Jim back, followed by the rest of the children, when he'd later learned of the full list of Jim's injuries, Pike had never felt like he owed any person more, than he owed George and Jim Kirk. And now, as if Jim hadn't suffered enough, Pike was bringing his attacker from fifteen years ago back on board Jim's ship: Jim's only real safe place. Pike wouldn't deny that he hated himself a bit for that…more than a bit if he was totally honest.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this would've been posted yesterday but Chapter 6 is giving me a bit of trouble so I wanted to wait until I restructured the chapter the way I really wanted. Sorry bit of a perfectionist. I'm glad everyone is enjoying it and likes the changes thus far. In other news, hopefully by the end of June I will be posting and additional story, it will be an AU version of Star Trek, so stay tuned. It will involve all the characters! **

**Chapter Four ~**

"Captain on the bridge," Spock announced as Kirk stepped aboard the bridge in his usual Starfleet Captain gold. He had his usual air of confidence and cockiness. Yet, the astute observer couldn't help but notice that something seemed…off for the Captain, his eyes betrayed the confidence. However, Spock could not truly identify what further emotions the Captain had, Kirk was always full of emotions Spock didn't quite understand.

Kirk had to force his usual bravado as he stood before his Captain's chair and took a seat. Every minute for the past two days he'd been mentally chastising himself that he was a Captain now, not some disillusioned child who was forced to face adulthood way too early. "Chekov, open a ship wide comm," Kirk ordered.

"Comm open, sir," Chekov replied, watching his weary looking Captain.

Kirk took a deep breath to ensure his tone would be even and calm, "This is your Captain speaking, Within a few minutes we will be embarking for what is to be a five year exploration of space and other races. However, before we can start our new adventure, Starfleet has requested we pick up a group of traveling actors from Planet Q, we will then be ferrying them to a nearby Starbase. They should only be on the ship for the duration of five days; I request you show them our finest hospitality. Thank you, Kirk out."

"Captain," Sulu whirled in his seat, "Engineering and Medical report they are prepared for departure."

"Excellent, Sulu, plot a course for Planet Q."

Sulu pushed several buttons, "Awaiting your order sir, we should arrive in two hours."

"Punch it."

Just like that the stars were blurring as the ship jumped to warp. Jim relaxed slightly in his chair, for now at least he was safe. He would take the solitude in his ship for as long as he could, because right now he was too terrified to think of what came next. He looked around at his senior staff and pursed his lips, "Any questions?"

"No, sir," there were a few murmurs around the bridge. "Captain, are we in danger?" Sulu asked quietly.

Jim studied his friend for a long moment, trying to consider his words carefully. "I would love to give you a definite answer, Mr. Sulu, but in all honesty I can't. The man we are bringing on this ship is a known killer. However, I do believe that Admiral Pike, and Starfleet carefully weighed all their options and chose our ship for a reason."

"Because there are two people aboard who can identify the killer," Chekov replied.

Jim nodded, "But I assure you, Ensign, that was not the only reason. We were chosen because we are the best in the fleet; we were leaving the soonest and headed in that direction. If any of you have other concerns at any time, feel free to comm myself or Commander Spock."

"Yes, Keptin," he glanced at the others as they nodded.

"Captain," Uhura spoke up, "Were you aware that two of the children who could identify him were on this ship?"

Jim nodded, "As the Captain I'm required, and make it my personal goal to know all my people and their backgrounds, Lieutenant. In this situation I was made aware for their safety and everyone else's. But I also assure you their privacy was kept."

"I don't understand," Chekov admitted, drawing glances from the others, "Sorry, I don't understand vhy the nine children identities were hidden in ze the first place."

Kirk considered an answer for a long moment; he hadn't been involved in that decision. In fact he'd still been recovering at the time when that particular choice had been made. "Consider this, Ensign. Survivors are not always celebrated the way they should, people sometimes question why them and not others. In the case of Tarsus you have to remember…" he sighed shivering internally at the memory of the lists, "that half the population was chosen to die and half to remain alive. People would've questioned the children if they knew, why they lived and others died. And the survivor's guilt was no doubt already unimaginable," his last words were softer as he thought of the pain he'd been living with all these years.

"Kirk to medical," McCoy's voice broke any further conversation.

"What's up, Bones?" Kirk's reply, while unprofessional, never lacked warmth.

"I have…a situation, perhaps you could come, alone to medical, Captain?"

Kirk glanced around, "Spock, you have the comm," he stood and headed into the transport.

When Kirk arrived in medical he was surprised to find Riley sitting on a gurney looking only slightly abashed. McCoy simply looked concerned. Kirk didn't get to ask any questions as Riley removed his phaser and held it out to the Captain. "What's this?"

"I would like to temporarily resign my position, and be locked in my quarters for the next five days," Riley's voice was stronger than Kirk had ever heard it. He studied the younger man.

"Your reasoning, Lieutenant," Kirk didn't have to ask, he knew the reasons, and he'd do it himself if it weren't for the fact he had a damn ship to run. He struggled with the part that wanted to resent Riley. The boy had come out almost unharmed from Tarsus, except for hunger, while Kirk had been forced to suffer day in and day out in ways unimaginable. No, Jim shamed himself, they'd all suffered and Riley had every right as him to be furious over this.

"Sir, I'm fearful I will be unable to control my actions when the man arrives on board."

Kirk didn't have to ask whom, his feelings were the same. He glanced at McCoy who looked stuck between worried and furious. "Lieutenant," Kirk began, trying to decide his words carefully. "Kevin," he said softly. "I need you, I can't do this by myself."

Kevin studied him in surprise, "Jimmy, you did it by yourself for ages, you don't need me, you didn't need anyone."

Jim's laugh wasn't friendly but rather cold and filled with self-hatred, "That's where you're wrong," his eyes grew brighter, leaving both McCoy and Riley surprised at the open show of emotions. "I've always needed people. He…he raped me, Kev." The word was horrific and was torn from his lips like a curse. Leaving both Leonard and Kevin feeling empty and weakened, Leonard was certain that was the first time Jim ever actually said the word. "Please, Kevin. I'm not asking you as your Captain, I'm asking as a fellow victim. Please don't make me face this on my own. I can't…can't do this alone anymore, not again."

Kevin looked ready to cry himself, chewing on his lower lip he nodded slowly. "I'll do my best, Captain," his words hushed from emotions.

"As you were," Jim answered, handing back the phaser as Kevin quickly left McCoy.

"Jim-"

"Bones, please don't." Jim turned, a couple tears tracing down his cheeks.

McCoy sighed, "You want a shot?"

"I'm on duty."

"I suppose you are. Later then?"

Kirk nodded, "Thank you, Len."

Leonard wanted to reach out to him, hold him for god sakes, and shake him, anything. Just to comfort the kid, but he knew Jim wouldn't appreciate it, wouldn't accept it. Not yet at least, maybe at some point, but for now Jim needed to process what he'd just said out loud. Until he was ready to do that, he needed to be the Captain of his ship.

Jim wasn't driven by anything but his desire to get away, from everyone and everything. That's how he found himself on the observation deck. He stood out staring into the space. There had been a time he'd been desperate to get off land and travel among the stars. But now it just seemed to make space seem that much smaller, knowing the man who had spent months torturing, raping and beating him to save the others was going to be aboard his ship.

"Captain?" Spock's voice broke through Jim's reverie. His second in command came to stand beside him. "Doctor McCoy expressed some concern when I had asked where you were located."

"Sorry, Spock…how long have I been here?"

"We will be arriving at our destination in ten minutes. Are you unwell Captain?"

Jim turned and gave his patented smile, "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You have been standing here for an hour and fifty-two minutes, if Doctor McCoy's time report is accurate."

"They're accurate," Jim replied. "Spock, may I ask you a question."

"I believe you just did, but if you have another inquiry, you are welcome to ask."

Jim chuckled softly, "You have a sense of humor without even knowing it."

"That is not an inquiry, Captain."

"No," Jim smiled, "No it's not. Spock…if you were faced with Nero again…what would you do?"

"I do not understand, Captain." He was clearly confused, his eyebrows practically meeting his hairline.

Jim waved him off, "Never mind, it isn't important."

"Captain, may I make my own personal inquiry."

"Of course, Spock." Jim whispered, staring back out at the stars.

"Am, I correct in my assumption that you are one of the two people aboard the Enterprise presently who can identify the man named Kodos that we will be picking up?"

"You are."

"Then am I to understand you are asking a hypothetical question because you have feelings towards this Kodos that are not…Captain like?"

"Yes."

Spock seemed to pause for a moment, his hands crossed behind his back as he considered his question, then he looked at his Captain…his friend. He'd learned plenty from the younger man. "Jim, I know you to be a man of excellent moral standards, if not occasionally misguided. I also understand you to be a dedicated Captain and friend. It is based in these beliefs that I know you will do what is right, versus what you desire."

Jim smirked again, "Thanks, Spock."

"You are quite welcome, Captain."

"Captain to the transporter room," Scotty's voice interrupted the silence between the two friends.

"Have we arrived, Scotty?"

"Yes, Capt'n. Admiral Pike awaits you and your transport team."

"Captain, if you are unprepared to attend-"

Kirk shook his head, "Gotta face him some time. Take the bridge, this should just be a short stop."

"Yes, Captain."

Kirk and Spock walked out together, separating at the transporter. Kirk arrived in the transport room to see Sulu and McCoy already there along with Pike. "Actually, Bones, I'd like Uhura to accompany us, if you don't mind staying here."

Bones gave his friend a look, but nodded, "Uhura, to transport please."

It was only a few minutes later when she appeared and gave her Captain a serious smile. The four stepped onto the transport, each taking their place. "Keep the lights on for us, Scotty, we'll be back shortly."

"Aye, Cap'n."

"Energize."

McCoy watched them disappear and he sighed, "Be safe, Jim," he murmured before he turned to head back to the medical bay.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**AN/ Sorry for the delay folks! Busy weeks grad school, little sisters who insist on attention :-p**

**Chapter Five ~**

Planet Q was, for the most part, a barren dessert. For that reason, they had made it a prison planet, one of the closest to Earth. They walked up to the large sandstone building, and studied it, they didn't have gates like Earth once had, there was no need, anyone who escaped died from exposure within days, if they didn't die from dehydration first. "Mr. Sulu, please remain here, make sure there's no trouble."

"Yes, Captain."

Kirk nodded as they headed inside the older building. They didn't have to go very far, a man sat at a desk, "Name?" He asked.

"Admiral Christopher Pike and Captain James Kirk," Jim replied, they heard several doors hiss open and a few minutes later, while not chained or cuffed, Kodos stepped out, with a guard on either side. The guards had on helmets, making it next to impossible to see them, this was done for their safety and the safety of their relatives typically.

For Jim it was like being zapped back to that time, that day and staring into an old familiar face. He clenched his jaw to keep back the deluge of flashbacks and memories threatening to overwhelm him. He struggled to push them back, before he took a step forward, "I'm Captain Kirk, this is Lieutenant Uhura, and Admiral Pike. We will be transporting you to your new maximum security prison. You understand that you will be under constant guard and any attempt to escape will lead in your immediate death."

The man sneered, his teeth no longer gleaming but haggard and dirty, "Does it pleasure you to see me like this, boy?"

Kirk set his jaw, knowing Uhura was staring at him, "You will hold your tongue, prisoner. Do you acknowledge and accept the terms as they have been stated to you."

"Oh yes," the prisoner replied.

Kirk nodded and looked to the guards, "We'll be beaming up, if you'll follow us outside," Jim lead the group of three out, he didn't want to turn his back on the Kodos, he'd learned as a young boy that it was never a good idea. But he had to act like the Captain that he was. He'd continue to remind himself that he was a Starship Captain and not the helpless child he'd been fifteen years earlier.

When they arrived back on the transport pad, security was already present, they stepped off and Jim forced a smile, "Security, will you show them to the cell."

"So kind, Captain," Kodos sneered as he touched Kirk's arm. It was like a jolt, instantly Jim was in a different time and place, gasping for air, _"That was very kind of you, Jim," the man grinned, his teeth far too white and clean, it made Jim's belly turn as he was forced down onto the bed. "The children will last a little longer thanks to you. Perhaps if you'd only give them up, you could forego all this pain," he began to touch Jim. _

_ Jim whimpered as he tried to struggle away from the larger man that was pressing himself down. "Now, now Jimmy, this will be fun for both of us." _

"Captain!" Pike's authoritative voice cut through Jim's memory fogged mind, he looked around to realize he was in an empty transporter room, head between his knees with only McCoy and Pike kneeling beside him.

"What happened?" he asked, his breath coming in short panicked gusts.

"Just take it easy, son," Christopher surprised him as he ran a hand through Jim's hair, "You had a panic attack, we shook it off as an allergy attack and that you have them occasionally, and cleared the room. Just take a few calming breathes."

McCoy however caught the shift in Jim and suddenly grabbed a nearby trash canister as Jim forcefully dumped everything he'd eaten this morning, which wasn't much, into the trash.

Pike sighed as he rubbed Jim's neck, while McCoy braced his friend, "Deep breaths, Jim," McCoy encouraged. "Pike, he's not up for this."

Christopher opened his mouth to reply, but Jim beat him to it, "I've got to, Len. Otherwise he'll always own this part of me."

"Then let him," hissed McCoy, "It's not worth your sanity, good god man. If you try and do this you could be in the cell next to his at the sanitarium!"

Jim looked up at him, his face damp with tears and sweat, new tears joining the old tracks ever few seconds, "Len, I can't…if he continues to…to own that part I can't ever be…" suddenly Jim stopped, but both Pike and McCoy caught the meaning.

Pike blushed, "I'm going to pretend I didn't almost hear that."

McCoy nodded, "Good, cause I'm certain I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy leaned forward then and pressed a loving kiss to Kirk's hair. "Please, Jim. Please don't let this destroy all that is you."

Jim surprised them both when he all but collapsed into Leonard's arms and cried.

Christopher rubbed Jim's back for a few longer moments before standing, "I'll go clear the halls. Kirk, why don't you take the remainder of your shift to compose yourself and get some rest? I don't want to see you until your shift tomorrow morning. Doctor McCoy, that goes for you as well."

"Yes, Admiral," both men whispered.

McCoy allowed Pike to disappear for a few seconds, before he helped a shaky Kirk to his feet, "I lost it," Kirk whispered. "Bet that didn't impress anyone."

"Who cares," McCoy whispered. "Your crew are going to respect you for being human. Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

"Meant what I said," Kirk finally spoke after several minutes, when they were nearly to McCoy's room.

"Said what?"

"Back there in the transport room. I know you don't understand, Len. But I want…I want you," he said honestly. "But I know I can't ever be completely with you if I don't deal with this. Deal with what happened back on that planet."

"I'm a doctor, Jim, not a psychologist, but I can do my best to understand."

Jim shook his head as he sat down on the bed, "I have to face my attacker. It's the only way, Bones. I have to face all of this. Please, don't stop me. I want to know that when we're finally together we can do everything when we're ready."

Leonard, crouched down in front of his best friend, stroking the side of his face and pecked the younger man on the lips. "I love you, Jim."

Jim nodded and swallowed, "Just threw up, and you kissed me. That is love."

McCoy let out a bark of laughter as he hugged Jim close. "Lie down and get some rest. I'll go check in on our guests and the bridge."

"Thanks, and Len."

"Yeah, darlin'?"

Jim gripped his sleeve as lay on the bed, "Stay away from Kodos, he's sick."

McCoy pressed a kiss to the side of Jim's head and nodded, "I can take care of myself, Jim. Been doin' it for thirty-three years just fine on my own."

"'s not what your mom said."

"Hey! Stop plottin' with my mother!"

As Leonard left his room, he couldn't deny he was sufficiently concerned about Jim, beyond his usual concern. A part of Len wanted desperately to tell Jim they could worry about a relationship later, but he didn't want Jim to take it as a sign of rejection. He really did love Jim, and wanted to be with him, but not at the sake of his sanity and certainly not at the sake of his dream job. He sighed and shook his head, for now he had a mission, they would figure everything else out once they were in space for five years.

_Jim crept closer to the main building, where they'd been holding sessions, he'd known Kodos well before all this had started, had an internship of sorts, maybe…just maybe Kodos could spare some food for him. Jim could only hope he didn't ask about why Jim needed it. He didn't want to risk the other kids. _

_ "Governor Kodos?" Jim called where he stood at the older man's office door. _

_ The man smiled warmly, "Jimbo, my boy. I was beginning to worry you, haven't seen you for awhile, are you doing all right?" _

_ Jim beamed, "Of course, sir. Well…actually no sir, my aunt and uncle died…and um…see I've been staying with some friends but we're running low on food and I was wondering if there was anyway you could…spare some." _

_ Kodos seemed to rebuff at the request, "I don't know Jimmy, we're all starving son. I can't really give you anymore, because then others will want it. I have to ration things out son." _

_ "Please sir, I'll do anything. I won't tell anyone where I got it, just that I managed to scavenge it. Please sir, I'm begging you." _

_ Kodos leveled his gaze on the teen, "What's the family's name that is taking such fine care of your, Jimmy?" _

_ "Ant'ko, they live a few houses down from my aunt and uncles, they have a new baby…" _

_ Kodos seemed to consider this, "Well, I certainly understand your concern, son. But I'll need some sort of payment, to make sure you keep your word."_

_ Jim's eyebrows furrowed, "I…I don't have any money, Sir." _

_ Kodos nodded as he stood and studied the boy up and down, "There are other methods of payment…" _

_ Jim shivered at the way the man's dark black like eyes roamed over his figure, "I…uh…" _

_ "You want extra food, don't you?" _

_ "Well…yes." _

_ "Then I need a payment." _

_ Jim felt his entire body shaking in fear, "Wha…what kind of payment." _

_ Kodos stepped forward, dragging his hand over Jim's thin form, until the boy's eyes grew wide. "I think you know, son." _

_ "Please, sir." _

_ "If you ever want to see your family again, you'd best be ready to pay for your requests, you little whelp." _

_ Jim gave a shaky nod as the tears ran down his face unchecked, "Yes sir," he whispered. _

"NO!" Screamed Jim as he shot up in the bed, he felt out of bed as he tried desperately to make it to the bathroom, before vomiting bile into the toilet. He sobbed against the seat, letting the fear and deep feeling violation the memory gave him. "No," he whimpered again as he banged his head once, twice against the wall behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: First off thanks for all the reviews. This chapter was very hard for me to write for some reason, it was rewritten somewhere around 7 times and I'm still not thrilled with it. But ultimately it gets the story from point A to point B and starts up the climax which is what I needed. There are probably 3-5 more chapters to be had in this story, but it apparently wants to wind up so I cant start writing the AU. So if you like this story, stay tuned there is an AU a-comin'.**

**Chapter Six ~**

James Kirk found his way quickly to the medical bay, his hair still damp from his shower. When he entered he was stunned at what he saw. Kodos lay on a biobed, as McCoy ran the scanners over the unconscious figure. Pike stood off to one side watching.

"What the hell happened?" Kirk questioned as he moved over to them.

Pike looked over to glare at the younger Captain, "That's what I'd like to know. One of the guards reported Kodos, your prisoner as poisoned, near dead in his living space. We were under express orders not to do any harm to the prisoner."

Kirk looked at Pike, "Well I didn't do it!" He shouted.

Christopher looked at his friend, the son he'd never had and stepped a hair closer, "You are in charge of your people, Captain Kirk. And I can only assume one of your crewmembers did it, now the two primary suspects would be you and Lieutenant Riley. Now I know, thanks to Dr. McCoy where you've been, where the hell is Riley?"

"Lt. Riley, please report to Medical Bay immediately," Kirk demanded.

"Aye, Captain."

Pike sighed and looked over at Kodos, "Do you realize the situation this has put us in?"

"Admiral," Kirk began, as the doors wooshed open to the form of Kevin Riley.

Pike looked over at the young Lieutenant, "Riley where have you been for the past two hours?"

"Sir?"

"Damn it! What the hell is going on here? Someone poisoned Kodos, and while I'll be the first one to wish him harm, we were sent on a simple mission. Now answer the question, Lieutenant."

Kirk studied the guilt ridden Riley, "Kevin, what did you do?"

Still Riley was silent, but the silence was all the more telling that had the boy admitted it. "Lieutenant Riley, you will be put under arrest for the attempted murder of former Governor Kodos, you will be confined to your quarters under security until we are docked at the next Starbase…you will face a trial for your crimes," Kirk's voice was monotone and empty as he waved over two security guards.

"He killed my family! He killed four thousand people!" Riley yelled as he was cuffed.

Kirk nodded and stepped closer, "I know, Kevin. But that doesn't give you the right to dole out the justice like you are God."

"You're a traitor!" Kevin snapped, and instantly regretted it, but he was furious the sheer idea of being punished for a man who had done so much damage. And Kirk was taking his side. It ached more than Kevin knew possible.

Kirk looked up at Kevin and sighed, "Take him away," he whispered. He felt himself aging everyday suddenly, getting older and wiser and if it hurt this bad, Kirk didn't want to age another damn day. "Bones," he turned towards his friend, "Is he going to make it?"

McCoy studied his best friend for a few moments, "Yeah, luckily the poison was pretty basic version of a Alteri venom, I was able to counteract it quickly. It has done some damage, but he'll survive."

"Thank you, doctor. Admiral Pike?"

Chris studied the young man, "I trust nothing else like this will happen again?"

"No sir," Kirk replied simply.

"Good." Pike sighed as the tension flowed between the three men, "For what it's worth…I'd want to kill him too, son."

"Wanting to, and acting on it, Admiral, are two very different things. I am sorry."

"Don't worry son, we'll take care of everything."

Kirk wanted to believe that, he did but he couldn't quite shake that this was just going to be the tip of the iceberg in the end. He looked over at Bones who was diligently working on the killer. Bones glanced up and caught Jim's gaze. "You all right, Jim?"

"Yeah," Kirk replied, "I'll come by later and check on him."

McCoy nodded and watched his Captain exit the Medical bay. McCoy was so damn tired of worrying about the kid he felt exhausted some days. But then, Jim worried everyone who cared for him, simply because Jim care enough to want to protect those around him.

Heading back into his private office, McCoy shut the door, looking down at his PADD he never noticed the figure that stepped in front of the door, knife drawn. A slender arm wrapped around his chest, causing McCoy to jump, startled, as the knife was pressed against his jugular. "Lets have a little fun, shall we, Doctor. I hear you and the good Captain are quite close. What do you think he might do to ensure your life?"

McCoy felt his blood run cold, because he knew exactly what Kirk would do for his safety….anything.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, it's Pride weekend in Columbus, so been busy! **

**Chapter Seven ~**

Kirk sat in the Captain's chair, thinking about what Riley had done. He couldn't deny that the Lt. had been in the wrong; murder was unforgivable in Kirk's book. But then the man Riley had tried to kill was more a murder than anyone. Was it wrong to murder a murderer? The answer was yes, at least Kirk felt it was, and as Captain of a ship he had to trust his own instincts. Those instincts were telling him that murder of any kind was wrong. Self defense perhaps, but not cold blooded murder.

His thoughts shifted to Riley himself, at the time of Tarsus Riley had been nine, he'd turned ten shortly after their rescue. He'd been a tough little shit, watched his entire family slaughtered. Jim really couldn't blame him for his anger towards Kodos. Hell, Jim felt it too.

"If you think any harder, son, steam will be coming out your ears," Pike's voice startled Jim from his reverie. He glanced over at the Admiral and smiled. "Permission to come aboard the bridge?"

"Granted," Kirk replied softly.

Pike came and stood by his side, "How are you, son?"

"I've had better days," Kirk answered truthfully. "How did Starfleet take the news?"

Pike sighed, "Unfortunately, while I can vouch you, I don't seem to have the same magic for Riley. They're going to charge him with the attempted murder of a criminal. He'll probably have to serve a few years, and he won't be allowed back into Starfleet."

Kirk shook his head; "I didn't want this for him."

"No one did, believe me the Admiralty wasn't too happy about the situation either, and not because they were charged with keeping this bastard safe. Unfortunately, I don't believe your crew is going to understand why Lt. Riley attacked a simple actor."

Kirk nodded, "I've considered that, but I don't want to put him in further danger, as such I'll wait until we're back on our way to debrief them."

"They won't appreciate you for lying to them."

"I'm going to tell them I was under strict orders."

Pike chuckled, "Good choice. You doing okay?"

Kirk glanced around at his friends who were busy at work, "No," he admitted. "Not even a little bit. I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm proud of you, Jim."

Kirk looked up at his mentor, the only real father figure he'd ever had, and nodded. "Thank you, Admiral." Kirk sighed again, "I should probably check on our patient." He tapped his conn, "Dr. McCoy, report to the bridge."

There was a long pause of silence in which Kirk felt something deep within his stomach churn in warning, "Bones, report." He looked over at Pike who was also beginning to grow concerned. "Bones-"

"Doctor McCoy is indisposed at the moment," an unfamiliar voice echoed through the bridge, causing all members to stare at one another in fear and concern.

The guard leaned down forward from where he had McCoy pressed to the floor, on his back, hands held down together above his head with rope to McCoy's desk. McCoy, who'd been unconscious to this point, regained consciousness with a moan over his newly developed injuries, he took an inventory: broken rib, possibly two, bruised kidney, possible concussion.

He noted that his ribs were being aggravated by his position he tried to move but pain flared through his side with the busted ribs. He tried to take a calming breath, but then the guard from earlier swam back into his vision. "Oh good, you've awoken. My father always said that your lover was his best conquest. But I don't know, personally I find you far more attractive.

McCoy didn't like how that sounded, suddenly his ribs seemed to be the least of his worries as he felt the hand palming his flaccid cock through his Starfleet uniform pants. "Get off me, you stupid piece of-" McCoy gasped as the guard backhanded him across his already painfully throbbing face.

"You are truly in no position to be giving orders," The man hissed, "Tell me, doctor, how does your dear little play thing like it? How does it feel to know that you weren't his first man? Did he tell you what my father did to him?"

"You don't know anything about Kirk," McCoy growled as the zipper of his pants was pulled down. McCoy tried to buck his hips, but that seemed to only encourage his aggressor.

"I personally find men absolutely disgusting, but then, I appear to have garnered my father's deep love for torture," he reached in and gripped Bones and for the first time, Bones whimpered, not in pleasure but pain.

"Don't do this, please," he finally spoke again, not beneath begging. Jim wouldn't handle this well, knowing what was done to him if he died.

"Dr. McCoy, report to the bridge," Jim's voice echoed through the room's com unit. Palto paused as he continued to grope McCoy. "Bones, report." Realzing that the Captain wasn't going to leave his lover alone, Palto took McCoy's communication head set. "Bones-"

"Doctor McCoy is indisposed at the moment," Palto replied with a sickening grin as he stared down at McCoy, sending shivers down the doctor's spine.

"Who is this?" It was less of a question, and more of a demand, as Kirk replied to the voice.

"The man who will destroy you, and your crew," Palto sneered. He heard the click as the communication was ended.

"Sorry handsome, guess we'll have to cut this short, he grabbed McCoy who was beginning to get woozy from the manhandling and was thrust into the open medical bay as Kirk and Pike rushed in. "One step closer, Kirk and your lover will get it." Palto threatened

"Who are you?" Kirk demanded.

He looked familiar, but Kirk couldn't put his finger on it. McCoy looked defiant more than frightened, but he also looked like he was in pain. Kirk took a moment to study his lover; he clutched his arm close to his chest, whether to protect ribs or a broken wrist, Kirk couldn't tell because McCoy seemed to be trying to keep it hidden. His face was covered in bruises. Kirk felt guilt flare through him as he noticed McCoy's zipper was undone.

"Palto, son of Kodos, you ruined him! You ruined my life and family!" The man shouted, "So I'm ruining yours."

"No," Kirk shouted as Palto began to slice McCoy's neck, the cut appeared to be shallow thankfully. "Stop, like you said, it's my fault, destroy me, not him."

"What would you give to save your lover?"

Pike watched the two, making sure to pretend he never heard this conversation. He was growing worried about McCoy who was struggling to hold his own weight at this point.

"What do you want?" Kirk requested.

"Release my father, let us go free."

Kirk shook his head, "I can't do that, I'm sorry Palto."

The man's grip tightened on McCoy again, "Then he dies."

"STOP!" Kirk shouted, taking a step closer. "I can't let your father go, Palto, because he's sick. If we let you go now, he could die." Kirk stepped closer again to the seemingly rabid man, cautious of McCoy's rapidly deteriorating state. "You don't have to go to prison, Palto. What your father did was wrong, but you haven't killed anyone yet."

"I killed the other seven survivors. My fate will be no different than my father's."

"Then take the opportunity to make a change," he stepped closer again, he was still eyeing his best friend in concern. "Palto, it doesn't have to be like this, let us take care of the Doctor, you can have me instead."

"Jim, no," McCoy managed to whisper.

"Shut up, Bones," Jim hated being harsh, but he couldn't take the sight of his best friend struggling like this.

Pike never saw it coming, there was a blast from the other side of the medical bay, that dropped him, and seconds later Kirk like a sack of potatoes, unconscious. "Jim!" McCoy shouted as Palto released him and moved towards Kirk as well, preparing to stab him.

TBC


End file.
